Listening to the Light-Marriage

This week my class has been studying the topic of cherishing your spouse. I can’t think of anything more important than cherishing each other. One of the books I read talked about a couple where the husband was an amazing doctor, and devoted so much of his life to his work, often sleeping at the hospital. When he was home, he didn’t even know the name of their dog. Pretty ridiculous. He was completely disconnected from his family. The wife wanted to surprise him for a holiday meal, and brought their children to the hospital to have a meal together. He was mad and embarrassed. He got a call from a patient, and was very kind to the patient. His wife realized that his negative behavior was only towards her. What a disappointment! This is where the author introduced love maps. “… Emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each other’s world. I call this having a richly detailed love map- my term for that part of your brain where you store all the relevant informa

This week in school I’ve been studying about behaviors that negatively affect marriage. There are two texts we use in this course. One is “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert” by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver. The second one is “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: Eternal Doctrines that Change Relationships” by H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D. Obviously, the second book is based on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints beliefs. I would recommend both of them! I’ve just started them and there is so much great information to gain! As someone who isn’t married and has never been married, I feel unqualified to be telling anyone the best way to be married. However, I’ve seen tons of marriages, and have learned lots of things that I want to implement in my own marriage, if that happens, and lots of things I would never want to be a part of my marriage. Dr. John Gottman studied married couples for

In the last couple of weeks I’ve shared thoughts on marriage trends and the fight on traditional marriage. This week’s post is all about eternal marriage. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that marriage performed under proper authority- inside the temple, by a priesthood holder- can last beyond death into the eternities. I’m so grateful for this knowledge! Not only can the marriage be eternal, but the children are eternally bound to their parents. This covenant is made between husband, wife, and the Lord. Elder Bruce C. Hafen said, “Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the ‘hireling,’ who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling ‘seeth the wolf coming,’ he ‘leaveth the sheep, and fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.’ … Many people today marry as hirelings. And

This week in my marriage class, I was able to read a 103 page article summarizing the opinion of the Supreme Court in Obergefell v. Hodges.  This was the case that legalized same-sex marriage. There was so much information! It was interesting to see the stands that each judge made, and the reasoning behind their decisions. Simplifying the reading, those that supported the decision to legalize gay marriage claimed that all of the states had been violating the Constitution for 135 years between the ratification of the 14th Amendment and when Massachusetts began permitting same-sex marriage in 2003. Those against it talked of the definition of liberty. Justice Scalia said that by having the nine judges make this decision was “robbing the people of the most important liberty that was asserted in the Declaration of Independence, the freedom to govern themselves” (Supreme Court of the United States, 2015). The four of them said or alluded that the decision needed to be made by the people a

This week I studied a number of articles written about marriage trends and divorce. I watched a video called “Divorce School for Kids” done by 20/20. In this video, they have the children of divorced parents gather with other children going through similar circumstances. Each class was age appropriate. What stood out to me were the younger kids, that didn’t verbally share their feelings, but instead drew pictures that clearly showed their fear. One picture was of a mom on one side and a dad on the other, and dashed lines down the center of the child, as he was being pulled in half. An older child drew a picture and had words describing himself written next to it, like, “need help”, “broken”, “need to be better”, etc. One child thought that had he eaten his vegetables this divorce would have never happened. It really was heart breaking! Thinking about the community that I grew up in, I can remember only a few kids that grew up with me that had parents divorce while we were in school.

Hi!  My name is Pyper, and I'm a student at BYU-Idaho.  For one of my classes, I've been asked to blog about marriage.  As someone who is not married, this is an interesting feat I face.  I hope you find something beneficial in what I'm learning about marriage.  (Photo credit:  all-free-download.com) I look forward to learning, and sharing my thoughts and experiences with all of you!