Marriage Trends of Today...

This week I studied a number of articles written about marriage trends and divorce. I watched a video called “Divorce School for Kids” done by 20/20. In this video, they have the children of divorced parents gather with other children going through similar circumstances. Each class was age appropriate. What stood out to me were the younger kids, that didn’t verbally share their feelings, but instead drew pictures that clearly showed their fear. One picture was of a mom on one side and a dad on the other, and dashed lines down the center of the child, as he was being pulled in half. An older child drew a picture and had words describing himself written next to it, like, “need help”, “broken”, “need to be better”, etc. One child thought that had he eaten his vegetables this divorce would have never happened. It really was heart breaking!
Thinking about the community that I grew up in, I can remember only a few kids that grew up with me that had parents divorce while we were in school. I was usually the "odd man out" being raised by a single parent.  That's no longer the case. According to "State of Our Unions 2012", we are “witnessing a striking exodus from marriage, especially among high school but not college educated young people, for whom raising children amid unstable cohabiting relationships and serial partnerships is in danger of becoming the new norm” (The National Marriage Project, 2012).
My dad died when I was seven years old.  Although I was raised by a single mom, I never felt like it.  I knew that my dad was part of my life still.  I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I know that I can be with my family again, and that has been the greatest comfort in my life!  "The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave" (The Family:  A Proclamation to the World, 1995).
I read an article written by Paul Amato, titled, “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation”. It was full of a lot of statistics involving families where the parents are divorced, children born outside of marriage, the death of a parent, conflicting families, and stepfamilies. It’s interesting to see how you fit into the statistics. “Children who experienced a parent’s death,. . . scored significantly higher on several measures of well-being than did children with divorced parents” (Amato, 2005). It was interesting how it pointed out that children raised in a married, two parent home is so much better off. Feeling safe is so important for the development of a child. The above mentioned video talked about how kids fear their custodial parent may abandon them, as well. That’s a fear that stays with them, and is projected onto other people that they may love in the future.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (Kimball, 1980). This is so prevalent in today’s world. I hope that when I have my own family, I’ll be able to instill in them the love and safety that can abound in an eternal family, and help them to want to have their own eternal marriages.
Divorce is widespread in our world. James E. Faust said, “Parents in any marital situation have a duty to set aside personal differences and encourage each other’s righteous influence in the lives of their children” (Faust, 1993). We’re directed to put away our selfish needs, and look to others, our spouses, our children. Although there are extreme circumstances, such as abuse, where divorce is absolutely necessary, others sometimes treat it as a “starter marriage” (Oaks, 2007), which should be avoided. Dallin H. Oaks said, “The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person” (Oaks, 2007).

References
Amato, P. R. (2005). The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation. The Future of Children, Vol. 15, No. 2, Marriage and Child Wellbeing, 75-96. Retrieved May 1, 2019, from https://www.jstor.org/stable/3556564.
Faust, J. E. (1993, May). Father, Come Home. Ensign.
Kimball, S. W. (1980, November). Families Can Be Eternal. Ensign, p. 4.
Oaks, D. H. (2007, May). Divorce. Ensign.
The National Marriage Project. (2012, December). State of Our Unions 2012. Retrieved May 1, 2019, from http://www.stateofourunions.org.
The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (Oct. 1995).  The Family:  A Proclamation to the World. https://www.lds.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng


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