Fidelity

This week in my Marriage class we have been studying about fidelity and physical intimacy. There was a lot of great reading involved. One that stuck out to me was an article written by Kenneth W. Matheson, a professor at BYU, called “Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think”. It talks of a couple where the wife has a “special” work friend (Matheson, 2009). This stuck out to me, because I had a friend that was my “special” work friend, but we were both single. I could understand how you get to the point of being so close to someone at work.
She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong. They talked a lot. They knew what was going on at work and it was easy to discuss things. Then it turned into hanging out during breaks and the occasional lunch break. She didn’t see anything wrong with sending him personal emails and text messages outside of work (Matheson, 2009). Is that a form of infidelity? It certainly leads to more.
Matheson included some questions to consider when assessing your relationships with others:
“'Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?’
‘Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re at home?’
‘Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together?’
‘Do you email and text your friend when you’re not together?’
‘Have you told your spouse about these messages?’
‘Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?’
‘Do you compare your spouse to your friend?’
‘Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?’” (Matheson, 2009).
If you’re in a situation where you’re feeling a closeness to someone other than your spouse, I would recommend going through these questions and honestly answering them. Infidelity is so damaging to your spouse, your kids, and yourself. There’s so much of it occurring today. I hope that you’re doing all in your power to protect your family from it’s harm. By openly discussing the things going on in each other’s lives, overlooking those little annoyances, and turn yourself to your spouse, looking for ways to make their life better, you will be safe.
“Fidelity may seem to be confining. It always will- unless we adopt God’s perspective. ‘Through the lens of spirituality we see all the commandments of God as invitations to blessings. Obedience and sacrifice, loyalty and love, fidelity and family, all appear in eternal perspective’” (Goddard, 2009). Remember to keep that eternal perspective that you had when you committed to your spouse. Remember those covenants you made and stick to them.
References
Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage: eternal doctrines that change relationships. Cedar Hills: Joymap Publishing.
Matheson, K. W. (2009, September ). Fidelity in marriage: it's more than you think. Ensign, pp. 13-16.

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